Hi. I'm new and have to decide by Monday whether or not to continue after the trial. I like YNAB and my daughter in law LOVES it. She helps me when I can't figure out how to do things.
I have read enough YNAB stories to know that what I'm about to say is about a marriage issue, not finances. I have tried budgeting programs in the past. I did a paper budget with a spread sheet 31 years ago. What caused me to stop is having a husband with untreated ADHD among other issues. I feel like the only reason I am "budgeting" is to be a private detective and track his spending, and move money around to borrow from this category into another to cover his spending. I have done this for 31 years, and wondering what is the point of paying to continue to do the same? Since I started the trial, his grocery spending went from a rate of $700 per month to $1100. He has saved one receipt in a month and every transaction has something freaky odd about it, such as $2.57 cash back, or instead of letting me pay the electric bill online, he will withdraw cash from bank, and pay it in person.(which I had no idea how to indicate on YNAB) I did get him down to using only one card, so I only have one thing to track. His attitude is that we have "plenty of money" because we just sold a house, but in two weeks, most of that goes into a down payment. We have to carry two households for about 5 months, and this attitude will cause me headaches about budgeting and I have no idea if we will run out of money if he continues to spend this way.
What is really going on here is a deep seated marriage issue, which has not been resolved after numerous counseling attempts, and the man will not treat the ADHD and says he's on board with YNAB, but his actions are speaking otherwise. Before YNAB trial, he was not doing the odd stuff I mentioned, which I think is a form of sabotage, which may or may not be deliberate. ADHD brains are wired differently to make everything very complicated, but as children, usually learn passive aggressive patterns of behavior. I have no idea here. If I don't use YNAB, then I won't have any idea where the money is going, but the classes say "give every $ a job" and NOT that it is all about tracking spending of a person that thinks money grows on trees. I'm sorry to sound negative, because I read so many positive stories on here. Unless you have lived day in and day out with untreated ADHD spouse, you can have absolutely no idea the havoc and chaos they cause. Some "theories" are out there that they cause the chaos to boost their neurotransmitter levels. I almost tend to agree. Thanks for listening and any future advice. J
I have read enough YNAB stories to know that what I'm about to say is about a marriage issue, not finances. I have tried budgeting programs in the past. I did a paper budget with a spread sheet 31 years ago. What caused me to stop is having a husband with untreated ADHD among other issues. I feel like the only reason I am "budgeting" is to be a private detective and track his spending, and move money around to borrow from this category into another to cover his spending. I have done this for 31 years, and wondering what is the point of paying to continue to do the same? Since I started the trial, his grocery spending went from a rate of $700 per month to $1100. He has saved one receipt in a month and every transaction has something freaky odd about it, such as $2.57 cash back, or instead of letting me pay the electric bill online, he will withdraw cash from bank, and pay it in person.(which I had no idea how to indicate on YNAB) I did get him down to using only one card, so I only have one thing to track. His attitude is that we have "plenty of money" because we just sold a house, but in two weeks, most of that goes into a down payment. We have to carry two households for about 5 months, and this attitude will cause me headaches about budgeting and I have no idea if we will run out of money if he continues to spend this way.
What is really going on here is a deep seated marriage issue, which has not been resolved after numerous counseling attempts, and the man will not treat the ADHD and says he's on board with YNAB, but his actions are speaking otherwise. Before YNAB trial, he was not doing the odd stuff I mentioned, which I think is a form of sabotage, which may or may not be deliberate. ADHD brains are wired differently to make everything very complicated, but as children, usually learn passive aggressive patterns of behavior. I have no idea here. If I don't use YNAB, then I won't have any idea where the money is going, but the classes say "give every $ a job" and NOT that it is all about tracking spending of a person that thinks money grows on trees. I'm sorry to sound negative, because I read so many positive stories on here. Unless you have lived day in and day out with untreated ADHD spouse, you can have absolutely no idea the havoc and chaos they cause. Some "theories" are out there that they cause the chaos to boost their neurotransmitter levels. I almost tend to agree. Thanks for listening and any future advice. J